Man Up. Or Step Down.
Ever heard of "man code"? Of course you have. But in case you've been hiding under a rock (or in your parent’s basement) the rules, or commandments, are quite simple. You don't cry at movies (no matter how badly you want that couple to get back together because, damn it, they deserve each other!). You don't hug your male friends (handshakes and fist-bumps are as far as you go—and even that has its limits). You don't buy scented candles. You don’t hold your lady’s purse while she’s in a fitting room (or at least you’ll never admit that you do). And you have no idea what the color fuchsia is. It's pink, by the way. (At least that’s what our female friends tell us.)
The list of Man Code Commandments goes on and on. And while they’re not in any particular order, there is one rule that rises to the top. It’s one of the biggest tests of male intestinal fortitude in existence—and it can be summed up in three simple letters: D.I.Y. That's right. Do it Yourself. Why? Because as a man, you don't ask another male to lend a hand when you have two hands of your own. You don’t hire a stranger to trample his mud-caked boots and cross the moat into your castle to do whatever "it" is that needs to get done. No, sir. You Do It Yourself.
So just to make sure we're all on the same page, here's a cool little refresh of the Top 10 Things Every #DIY Guy Should Know.
- Pull-starting a chainsaw: We don't care if you pull a muscle or rupture your hernia on your 17th consecutive "one more time" pull. You pull 'til you hear that sweet chain symphony.
- Changing your flat tire: Calling Roadside Assistance is a verbal exchange of your manhood. So keep your "man card", roll up your sleeves, and do it yourself—so you can look yourself in the mirror later.
- Starting your own fire: Lighter “shmighter”. No man enters the woods without his trusty flint and steel set. Find some dry brush, channel your inner MacGyver, and blaze your own trail.
- Changing your car oil: It's "your" car and no one touches your dipstick but you. Got it, chief?
- Navigating a map: Sure, you have a navigation app. Or 12. But what do you do when Wi-Fi is a no-go? You “man-up”. Just find the old “just-in-case” map your mom stashed in your glove compartment and find your way back to home base.
- Filleting a fish: You don’t need the knife skills of a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon—but you do need to know how to carefully cut up your catch to avoid ridicule and temporary “man card” suspension.
- Painting a room: This is not the time to summon Siri to help you find a painter. This is where you tie your karate headband tight and go Daniel-san on your room—painting as if Mr. Miyagi were keeping a close eye on your handiwork. (Remember: Up, down. Up down. Breathe in. Breathe out.)
- Get a car "unstuck": Stuck in the mud? Or the snow? Tow-trucks are for grandma when she locks her keys in the car—they’re not for real men. So dig in your heels and dig yourself out before your boys find out that you got stuck in the first place.
- Framing a wall: It’s not rocket science, Einstein. It’s simple geometry. You just need a bubble level, a saw to cut the lumber, a nail gun, and a whole lot of testosterone. (A little Metallica playing in the background wouldn’t hurt either.)
- Fix a radiator hose: Calling a mechanic goes against our genetics. So who you gonna call? No, not Ghostbusters (although that would be awesome). You call on your right-hand man: duct tape. The Chuck Norris of tape, this silver wonder is your go-to for fixing anything—like radiator hoses, wicked paper cuts, and broken dreams. (Note: This is a quick fix and your radiator hose should eventually be replaced. Then, when you’re ready to rock, it’s a good idea to flush your radiator. Click here for how that’s done.)
Well, there you have it. Follow the rules, don’t break the commandments, and never, under no circumstances, read the instructions or whine. Whining is for helium escaping from a balloon, not for manly men who want to continue doing manly things.